The conference-moving-bronchitis diet

Have you read about this one yet? Well, of course not. I’ve just discovered it. It’s the magic pill, the secret trick and soon all the celebrities will be rushing out to buy the book. Of course, I’ll be the super slim author of it. Honest, it works and damn near overnight. Well, maybe in three weeks.

Here’s how it works: First take a big plane ride across the country to a nifty conference, stay a few days and fly home. Then, when you get home, pack up your junk and move. Immediately afterwards catch a wicked case of bronchitis and stay in bed for a week.

I know, I know it sounds silly and not realistic – but I’m here to tell you, “It works!” Seriously, just check out my lovely lady lumps.

What?? You can’t see the difference? Well, let me tell you they’re less lumpy. Eight pounds less.

That’s right you naysayers! Don’t doubt my new top-secret blogger diet, it really does work.

I’m now at a steady 253. One second... I have to count on my fingers here for a minute... must figure out the overall weight loss total….

….. one tic, still counting….

OK, finger math says my brain is still addled with bronchitis and I should re-calculate later. So check back soon for the totals.