Three pounds lighter

In just one week. The needle stops at 260 now.

The shirts I had to do the pre-stretch on before wearing this summer are now getting baggy.

Now if I could just get back on my Gazelle! I have been going for walks on our 2.5 mile route. I do run a bit, like half a block at a time (and then die), but it feels so floppy. Yuck!

15 pounds lighter, that's heavy man

Yup, 15 pounds total lost now. I lost what I put back on over Thanksgiving and then some. Sounds impressive ya?

It kinda is...

Until you realize HOW fat I still am - 263 pounds. BUT it's a start. Better than I did ALL of last year, and the year before, and the year before that.

I no longer dread the 300 pound mark and now am looking forward to the 250's. Phew!

2006: The year of transformation

Every January I feel like spring cleaning. It’s time to take down the Yule decorations, throw the last lingering scraps of wrapping paper away, toss out the food we didn’t eat during the holidays and generally just freshen up the house. Perhaps in colder climates this urge hits when the weather warms up. But for me here in Central California, amidst the rain storms and fog, I want to start anew.

Like so many others during this time of year, I’m thinking about my weight and health. I’m mentally going through the challenges that lie ahead this year for me to make my transformation. I’m not alone in this. My husband Jimmy is right along side of me. Yesterday was our last day of fast food for a year (not that we plan to take it up regularly ever again). We’ll be working on solutions to nights I don’t want to cook or days I feel the needs to suck down sweets by the pound. He does pretty well if it’s not in the house, so we’re mostly working on me not bringing it into the house.

We’re also working on changing our family dynamics. I believe we’re going to resurrect the dusty volleyball net, go on more family walks and play some ball. Physical activity here pretty much consists of sitting on our collective asses. Not to say we’ll give up TV, the computer or video games. We’ll just incorporate them into our more active lifestyle.

So yadda, yadda, yadda. We’re willing and we want to try and keep on trying. Of course by this time next week, we could be the bitchiest people on the planet. I wouldn’t stop by for a visit for at least a month. We’re going the South Beach route.

I put on some weight this holiday season but caught myself. I’ve taken it back off plus a bit more. 266 baby! I can’t wait to see the 50’s.

Every year tends to have a theme for me, at least for the last three. The year 2003 was a year of Wonder, last year was a year of Growth (and NO, not in our bellies – well maybe just a leetle) and this year will be the year of Transformation.

Good luck and good planning to all of you out there facing similar challenges! If you have success, let me know! I could always use more inspiration!

Backhanded Progress?

For the first time in my life, I feel guilty about what I eat. I had chow mein with sweet and sour pork on day 3 of the new 90-days-makes-a-habit gig. I've never felt guilty before. Ever.

 

Is this a good thing? 

 

I did two days in a row of the Gazelle and kaput.

 

Yup, I know. Must get back on it. Again.

 

The culprit this time (and again) is PMS. Do other women suffer this as badly? I've only had less than two years of regularity -- so not sure what's normal and what's not. I could just be plain crazy. Mexican food from El Pollo Loco was on day four.

 

I feel guilty. Again.

 

At least today I skipped on the mashed potatoes.

 

 

Fat girls don't run...

We Gazelle.

I should add that when fat girls lose weight, they post their Gazelle for sale on Craigslist.com with comments like 'lost 60 pounds with this, love it but don't need it anymore.'

Don't believe me? Do a search!

It's 90, not 30 ...

days that make a habit.

 

Yes, back to working out on my Gazelle again. Still working on the lifestyle change in eating habits too. This time the whole family is following though. My husband has sleep apnea due to his weight gain. The doctor urged gastric bypass surgery.

 

I wish he'd talked about diet and exercise first. To me bypass surgery is the end-all-be-all-can't-do-it-any-other-way solution, not an easy answer. But the doctor was an overweight guy too, so I guess he realized the difficulties of living healthy. Especially when no one can agree about what makes a good diet. But he doesn't know my husband very well.

 

Actually, he only just met him and spent the fifteen minutes with him during the appointment. So how could he know how strong my husband can be? He quit smoking cold turkey before the birth of his second son. It's been two years living a cigarette-free life. Living long enough to see your children grow up is strong motivation.

 

Surgery is risky and it's not a quick fix. I've have loved ones I'm very close to  who've had it and know it's a life long battle, even after surgery. I'd rather we knocked out this health-stealing demon now. I'd rather we tried everything within healthy reasons first. 

 

I quit smoking in February 2000. It was much easier to quit smoking than eat right. Really it was. It took me six years and my dad's second heart-attack (he's had four and still ticking) and my great-grandmother to die of cancer to finally, really, forever quit. I can't just quit eating. Would be so much easier if I could. I can quit tater tots, doughnuts (did that three years ago), French fries and white bread. It's a start.

 

It's going to take my whole family to make this happen though: The food we bring into the house; the eating habits we create with our kids; our dinnertime routines; the things we make for special holiday celebrations. We need to create a more active lifestyle too. More than parking our butts in front of the TV or computer with the boys. It's more than just that though - it's a mind and spirit thing too.

 

I don't have any answers, just the will to try and to keep trying. I've got more than that though, I've got my husband and his will to try too. Together, like with everything we've accomplished and succeeded at, we can figure this out and beat the odds. Together we'll create healthy habits as a family. Here's to the next 90 days!

 

Gluttonous Holidays

Well, I'm home from the holiday and reading through my web feeds on bloglines. Apparently I'm not the only one who struggled through turkey day (and the whole ENTIRE weekend surrounding it.)

Melting Mama and Feeding Alyssa post about tasty things to eat that are in the healthy range. I'll scamper over to their blogs this week and get some fresh ideas for the daily dilemma of what to eat.

Cheater, cheater pumpkin eater

I lost 11 pounds with the South Beach Diet and the Gazelle…. And then there was pumpkin bread. Oh woes me, Thanksgiving and the pumpkin bread. I bumped right off the healthy wagon and onto Cheat Street.

Well, Thanksgiving is over. I will say I did a lot better than years past. Let me be super specific here, since I'm telling the truth I might as well, I did a lot better than every year past. That counts for something right?

Yes, it does!

The two pounds I gained.

Overweight women adopt babies

I read this post on Adoption.com last night ‘Adoption and the weight connection.’

It was an interesting read. One of the facts about adoptive moms list says Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) affects 15-20 percent of women. I can tell you from personal experience (and it’s mentioned in the post too) that one of the side effects is obesity. (Yes, my favorite! That and hair loss. Gosh, I’m at a loss to which one I love being afflicted by the most.)

Oh yea, if you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m an adoptive mom too.

If you are battling infertility, considering adoption or just plain interested you can read the rest of the post here.

Oh pannus, my pannus

I read about this on a different blog. I had a sneaking suspicion, but wasn't totally sure what a pannus was.

Now I know.

The part of my body I hate the most, has a name. I can no longer ignore it or pretend it doesn't exist. Someone, perhaps a scientist, named this biological bit of my overgrowth. Now I stare at it in the mirror, hating it and calling it by it's name. "Oh pannus, my pannus. How I hate thee my pannus."

If there were anyway I could girdle or duct tape it flat, so that it didn't show through my pants, I would. As it is, I try to make sure my shirts are long enough to not show the bulge. I'm mostly successful.. I hope.

At least I can ignore my butt shelf. It's behind me and I don't have to look if I don't want to.

I gave my pannus an ultimation: By this time next year, it better have packed it's bags and left town (or more accurately, my body). Next October, I better only be seeing Mr. Loose Skin hanging about.

Support forum for South Beach Dieters

This is a great forum for support from other South Beach Dieters. They have lots of recipes on there for phase 1 and phase 2 (they might for phase 3 too, but I'm not looking that far ahead). I also like the before and after thread.

South Beach Diet: Day 3

The Cravings
Today is starting off much better than yesterday. I hope the worst of the sugar/carb cravings has passed. Last night was a bitch. I was cranky, moody and had no patience. I know, because my family told me so.

I reallllllly wanted something sweet. Sugar-free jello wasn't cutting it, but it was better than nothing. I tried making the Ricotta Creme vanilla recipe, but halfway through creating it I realized I had no vanilla. So I put some sugar-free hot cocoa powder in there instead. It tasted a bit like crap. But I ate it anyways. Later I had a mug of sugar-free cocoa. It may not be on the list, but it did save me from driving down to Sonic and getting a big ass frozen treat. I felt better after that.

Weight Loss
I have no idea if I lost weight. I've got a crappy scale and I'd have to lose 20 pounds before it registered a noticable difference. I also am too lazy or forgetful to weigh daily or even weekly. I do notice my shirts are a bit looser. That's good enough for me. It's either from this diet or exercising. Something's working - so I'll keep plodding forward.

Fiber up!

I got my borrowed South Beach book in the mail yesterday. I’ve already learned something new (and okay, exciting!).

On page 55 I learned this neat trick:

Here’s a tip that will lower the glycemic index of any meal: Fifteen minutes before you begin eating, have a spoonful of Metamucil in a glass of water. It’s true, this normally is intended as a mild laxative. But it’s simply psyllium, which is fiber – nonsoluble fiber. When you swallow that spoonful (btw they come in capsules now too), the fiber forms a slippery lump which makes it ways through your digestive tract, clearing out anything in its path. When you take some before eating, the fiber gets mixed in with the food and has the effect of slowing the speed with which your stomach digests what you’ve eaten.

Then on page 64 under the header ‘Carb’s Competitors’:

Fiber is the major factor that slows the absorption of sugar. … This was proven not long ago in a scientific study in which half of the subjects were give fiber known as psyllium (Metamucil) 15 minutes before lunch. … In the hours after the meal, the fiber group reported less hunger than the others. As the day wore on they ate less, too. The reason is simple: In their stomachs, the psyllium mixed in with what they ate and drank and slowed down the digestion. Slower digestion of carbs, less insulin. Less insulin, less dramatic drop in blood sugar. Less of a sugar rise and fall now, less hunger later.

Dramatic drops in blood sugar feel HORRIBLE. As exciting as having Metamucil before eating makes you feel less hungry, I’m even more thrilled over the effects on helping the blood sugar levels stabilize.

I went to the Metamucil site and they have it in powder form, capsule form and wafer form. They also have a free sample you can request that comes in a variety pack.

The key is consistency

I’m beating myself up with last week’s exercise routine. I’ve been pushing to a 60 minute, three mile goal in one daily session. Worse yet, the weather is cooling and arthritis has invaded my knees and right ankle.

My muscles were screaming like spanked children too -- so I took some time off of the Gazelle and rested. I hope I didn’t justify myself back into being complacent fat ass. No, I didn’t. I won’t let that happen … again.

I get into these motivated pockets and work my ass off to achieve my goal and then after a few days or (this time) weeks I quit. I burn my body out. My brain -- dream world -- wants to do it, my body – reality – fights back. It’s like all or nothing for me.

I realized, while 60 minutes a session doesn’t seem like much, for my body it really is. It’s too much. I have to accept that I’m fat and out of shape. No matter how much I mentally push myself, it’s my body that has to keep up. I’m not as strong as I always thought of myself as being. It’s humbling and pathetic.

This weekend I’ve been struggling with a solution (while sitting on my ass). I’m going to break up my workout session into two. It’s not totally uncharted. I did want to work my way up to two hours a day, one in the morning and one at night. However, I’m going to do two 30 minute sessions a day and my overall goal is 12 miles a week. I’m also going to throw in a 30 minute wind down Yoga session before bedtime.

As for the pissy old lady joints, I can push through 30 minutes in the morning. At night I’m going to pop some Motrin an hour or so ahead of time and hopefully that’ll do the trick. (I did chat with my grandmother this weekend and she suggested Tylenol Arthritis. You’re supposed to last eight hours, so I’ll pick that up next time I go to the store. Maybe that’ll help out with my morning routine if I gobble them at bedtime.)

The big challenge here isn’t if I can exercise, it’s if I can make it consistent. That’s my goal, consistency.

Also, in the next week or two (I’ve got to read the book first. My good friend the bodacious athlete kindly loaned it to me) I’m going to start the South Beach Diet.

Trigger eating

I'm in search of acceptable sweets for when the PMS manic eating trigger hits next month. I tried this below:



These are gross. The ice cream has a super fakey flavor and an almost grainy feel. I won't be buying these again, or even eating the rest of them. I'll keep searching...

Spin the wheel

Will I work out tomorrow morning like I should be after this hiatus since Thursday?

Come on let’s spin the wheel and find and see what answer it gives (think Bob Barker): Tick-tick-tick-tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick…. It’s slowing down… tick tick tick…..

And now to a commercial break. Tune back in tomorrow for the final answer.

My Free South Beach Diet Profile

Here are your diet profile results:

275.00 About your weight:

Current Weight 275.00
Healthy Weight 125-169
Current BMI 40.56
Ideal BMI 18.5-25

My personal goal is a bit higher than their healthy weight scale. I'm aiming for 175.

Does 30 days make a habit?

The 14th will be a month since I started seriously, on a planned schedule, exercising. I thought I'd feel better by now. I'm more tired now than when I started. I think perhaps 60 minutes a day is too much. It is a 20 minute jump from last week. My legs are killing me and my energy levels are down.

I might just stick to 40 for now and up five minutes a week until I reach 60 again. But next time more comfortably. I don't want to get so tired and discouraged I quit.

This is however, the longest I've kept to a schedule. Is it 30 or 90 days that makes a habit? The way I feel at the moment, it must be 90.

Blasted Blasphemy

This morning I didn’t go the extra mile – or rather – extra mile and a half. Instead of 60 minutes on the Gazelle, I went forty and only traveled 1.5 miles.

My knee is stiff, irritated and snap-crackle-poppy. It started slowing me down earlier this week but not until the thirty minute mark. Today it just wouldn’t warm up. It could be because of the weather being cooler.

I read a report that it’s the length and not the intensity of the work out that matters. Which sounds great until you read you should at least walk 12 miles a week and anything over that is of great benefit too. I’ve not yet done 12 miles in a week. This week would have been the first.

Well, the day isn’t over yet. Tonight I’ll pop some Motrin an hour ahead of time and get in that last 1.5 miles. It still counts if it’s broken up into two sessions right?

Exercise hell

Today was a bitch every minute of the way. My personal trainer didn't show up until halfway through. She saw how pathetic I was doing and sounded exactly like Gwen Stephani when she said to me, "This shit is bananas. B - A - N - A - N - A - S!"

She threw her pompoms down and left right after that too.

Oh well, I did clock 60 minutes but only went 2.8 miles. I'll do better tomorrow.